Alpha

I'm going to try this on my parents.

Mo'Nique

I LOVE me some Mo'Nique. She is hilarious. Watch her stand up video below from the Queens of Comedy and then watch her work it out on the BET Awards. WERK!

Flight Attendant

Hannukah?

Yesterday I spent Christmas Eve with family on my dad's side. It was fun and always an abundance of food.

Anyhow we get to the gift exchanging part and my father hands me a card. I always appreciate cards especially ones with cash inside. As I open the card I'm a little bewildered. Check this out:

My parents got me a Hannukah Card. I love how the monkey is holding a menorah. Obviously not paying attention when buying cards. It was a good laugh.

Merry Christmas everyone or according to my parents - Happy Hannukah!

Auntie

A message left to me by my friend & old roommate Stacey on facebook:

Malia and I were looking at pictures on sunday and there was a picture of you holding her at the La Brea Tar Pits. I asked her - Who's that? She said, "Auntie!" I was dying!

Family Guy

I have an extreme love for Family Guy. I only own all the DVD sets. I just bought Volume 7 last week. Anyhow Seth McFarlane had a special weeks ago with Alex Bornstein. Watch the video of my favorite part of the show. It was frikkin Hilarious!!!

Gym

Two things from the gym happened today.

An announcement was made over the intercom and it was hilarious. Please no sleeping in the pool or lounge area.

Too funny . .

And when I was getting my stuff out of my locker somebody dropped a condom. Oops. Was somebody about to have another workout after the gym. Hahaha!

Macaroni & Beef

This morning as I usually do I went to the gym. It's been pretty warm lately so I decided I needed to stock up on some fluids for the week in case I get thirsty - Diet Coke, Limeade, Water, etc. etc. Since I worked out I was hungry so I decided to go to the deli to get something to eat. I decided on the Macaroni & Beef.

An overweight older lady who was standing next to me hears what I ordered, turns to me, waves her finger in the air and says - "That's not healthy."

Ummmmm.....Irony!

Uncle Baby

This past weekend we celebrated my friend's Cecile's Birthday. I was able to make it to one of her festivties by joining her for dinner and having fried chicken at Knott's Berry Farm.

It was good to see friends and hang out with fun people including Nick, Isa and their little one Zavyer. He's totally adorable.

Anyhow she brought him over to say hi and she was like look it's Uncle Babe. Nick chimes in and says Uncle Lusty or Uncle Babe and eventually it led to Uncle Baby. I guess it's a combination of Lusty and Baby.

Now they're adamant at making sure that I'll be Uncle Baby.

For those who are Filipino who have a Tita Baby - I have a Ninang Baby - imagine a family party and someone yelling out Uncle Baby. I could see all the confused faces from the parentals.

All in all it's funny but not sure if I want to be called Uncle Baby. Sorry Isa and Nick.

Eggs

Wishing all of you a Happy Easter.

Also here's a text I got from my friend Amy who's also a teacher.

What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water?

It's going to take me a while to get hard. I just got laid by some chick!

Jeez

We had an event today and I had volunteered to help out. After the even my co-worker and I decided to have lunch at City National Bank Plaza in Downtown. One of our usual spots.

Anyhow, we're having lunch and I spilled some soda on my hand. I continued to have lunch but my hand was getting sticky so I excused myself to go to the bathroom. A lady was in front of me and I guess she needed to use the bathroom. She peered into the Men's Bathroom, exhaled and said Jeez!

I guess she didn't realized she was looking into the Men's Bathroom. As she stormed off she let out a couple of farts.

I started laughing and couldn't tell her that she looked into the Men's Bathroom. With all that farting she must've really needed to drop the deuce. hahahaha!!!

Gemini's Twin

I've been looking for Gemini's Twin sketchs all over the internet for a while now. It was one of my favorite. This was the only I was able to find. If you know where I can find others let me know. Enjoy the video!

gemini's twin - chanterelle Viral SPIKE.com

Frog

Oh Mother!

"My 17 year-old son has been very secretive with me lately...tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that hi is hiding from me that brought the magazine into my home, and I am afraid they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he is going to get her pregnant. What should I do about this?" - Bethany - a woefully clueless mother recently seeking advice on the Yahoo! Answers message board

Cha Cha Slide

This video totally made my Friday. Hopefully it'll make your day as well.

Vest

I love watching Chelsea Lately. If you don't - you should. She's frikkin hilarious. This video she did as a PSA was shown recently and it's too funny. Enjoy!

Bow Tie

Today I have to be in Santa Monica to meet with participants and volunteers of my program. I came a little early to have lunch and get my self situated.

As I am sitting here with my computer a guy comes up to me asking about the internet and if they charge or what not. I told him that Starbucks uses AT&T and to get on you either have to pay or be a subscriber.

I ask what does he need it for?

He said he needs to find out on how to tie a bowtie for an audition that he has in 45 minutes. Unfortunately he went to go buy a bowtie and they didn't have the clip bowties but the bowties where you have to tie.

I tried loading a youtube video of it but unfortunately my computer was runing a little slow. So I decided to use his girlfriend's computer to see if it'll load faster.

The video loads and the dude's girlfriend gets to work. On her first try the bowtie looked funny. She did it a second time, a third time, and finally on the fourth time it looked right.

I told her what a good girlfriend she is to be doing this for her man.

I guess I did my good deed of the day. If he gets this audition he has me to thank.

I wish y'all could be here watching all this unfold. Here is a video they used to learn how to tie a bowtie just in case you guys need to learn.

Grunt

I've been watching the Australian Open. The first of four grand slams in Tennis. As I am watching I noticed that many players grunt.

Well a thought of mine came across my mind as I am watching. This is the same thought I had once while I was working out and noticed guys grunting, moaning, screaming or whatever noise they make through their sets on machines and weights.

What's that thought you ask?

I wonder if this is what they sound like when they're having sex.

Hahaha!

Fosse

I saw this video playing at a bar and just had to find it and post it. It's pretty hilarious.

Saved

This afternoon at work after lunch we hear all this commotion coming towards the elevator. It ended up that two people were stuck in the elevator on our floor at work. My co-worker Tony was shoving notebooks in the door so that there was some air to flow inside the elevator as the two were saying that it started getting warm.

My boss came up with an idea to find something to open the door such as crow bar. However at the American Heart Association we don't have a crow bar ready. Go figure.

At the entrance of the elevator we have a red dress display with mannequins. Claudia said less remove the mannequins as there is a metal rod that is holding them up. So we lift up two of the mannequins. She handed one of them to me and the arms fell off. hahaha.

Anyhow Tony and Claudia used the two metal rods to open the door and the two were freed.

Thank goodness they were able to pry open the elevator door. I couldn't imagine being stuck in the elevator. I'm sure I would've gotten claustrophobic in there.

Here's two Superman Tony and Superwoman Claudia for freeing the two that were stuck in the elevator.